From+the+Heart

A Moment of Self-Reflection

Dear Dr. C,  Looking back over the course of the semester, I really feel like I had a tremendous number of great learning experiences and opportunities for personal growth...maybe that's why I felt so dang overwhelmed at times!! (Imagine how our poor little babies feel as they make their way through the first couple years of their lives, when learning is supposed to be at an all-time high!) All joking aside, it has been a great semester, and I have learned a lot as a result of this course. Through the process of creating my wiki and developing all of the technology based projects that I did, I had the opportunity to learn some new things about myself that I might not otherwise have encountered...at least not at this point in my life. Of all the little things that looked me right in the eye over the past couple of months, the one that starred the deepest into my soul was the realization that I had absolutely no idea of how I was going execute any aspect of teaching. From the day that I decided to go back to school, I had always known that I wanted to be someone who was able to make a difference in the lives of others. I also knew that I wanted to work with kids and that I wanted to be a positive driving force in the lives of those who needed me the most...but I had no idea how I was going to accomplish those things. Little by little, I made my way to the special education department and decided that this was indeed my calling. So for the last four or so years I have been trucking along on this educational journey with the plan to become a special educator. Beyond that portion of my plan, however, I hadn't really thought about HOW I would teach. I guess I just assumed that at some point a more detailed plan would fall into place...and to some extent I think that I was right. Education is indeed a journey and on this journey we are intended to acquire skills, techniques and general knowledge that will help us to excel in what ever areas we choose to embrace. For me, as a teacher in training, this class really opened my eyes to all that's involved in being a teacher. Not only in foundational areas like developing lesson plans, but on an even deeper level, delving into things like how I will accommodate these lesson plans so that I can reach each of my students on a level that they respond to best. Every time that I would try to design a lesson for this class, I would always be thinking about how I would be able to use that lesson in a class full of kids with exceptional strengths and needs. There were lessons that I felt were a good fit for this population of students and others that I felt were lacking. I have definitely learned that being a special educator, or at least a good one, will require me to put in a great deal of time and effort when looking to design lessons and units that will appropriately accommodate all of my students.

To be completely honest, I am a little scared about becoming a teacher. I'm scared that I may not always make all the right decisions, that I may not always know what the right thing to do is and I worry that I may not be as effective a teacher as I need to be in order for my students to succeed. I will say, however, that knowing there are a number of technology based tools that can aid me and my students in the classroom does make me feel a little better. It's exciting to see that technology has come to a place where it ca provide a plethora of opportunities for children with and without special needs and I'm so excited that I will get to start my teaching career in an era where we have so many of these technology based options.

In my career as a teacher, I really just want to help people. I want to level that playing field for all those kids who don't have a fair chance from the beginning. My dream is to be the kind of teacher that helps her students to grow into strong, confident and happy individuals. There are just too many kids out there in need for me to want anything less than this.